February 20, 2007

Solemn Communique and Covenant: The Quick Version

The Communique and Schedule:

Dear Bishops of The Episcopal Church: We don't want you to approve any more openly gay or lesbian bishops with partners, or authorize any same-sex blessing liturgies. And we really, really mean it this time. You've got until September 30. If you don't do what we ask by then we'll have to get even more upset and do something else. We don't know exactly what that will be, but you won't like it. Oh, and once you've agreed not to do what we don't want you to do, we'll tell the folks who've been crossing your national church boundaries and trying to take over parishes to stop doing what they are doing, too. In the meantime, we think you should stop trying to sue them for the property, since if you do what we say it will come back to you anyway. We may change our mind about those things we don't want you to do someday, but this is what we think now.

Also, we want to set up a team of people to help you through all of this, and to help provide for the folks in your church who are just as upset with you as we are. You get to have some input, but we'll be watching, because you have been so very naughty. Play nice or we'll make you sit on the sofa without TV.

The Covenant

We need to make sure we really do agree about the things we thought we already agreed about. And if we find out that we don't really agree, we'll have to try to make each other agree, or else who knows what might happen.

Tobias Haller

9 comments:

Jared said...

Excellent abbreviated report.

Thanks Tobias. :-)

Lisa said...

What a service! Now I don't have to re-read the communique. You've done us all a great service here.

Grandmère Mimi said...

Short versions. Very good. All I need to know.

Jon said...

It might be more accurate to say that the Pastoral Council is there to make sure everyone knows that everyone is being treated respectfully. After all, when Bishop Iker starts complaining (as I hear he already has) it would be the primates' team he would be comlaining most about, and somehow I don't think the primates will be as interested in giving him everything he wants when he's fighting with them.

Jon

-frank said...

Yup, that about sums it up. Nicely put.

Joe the Bartender said...

Let's see. The Primates have asked our bishops to state univocally what we [TEC} claim is our policy via B033 and previous GC action on SSB. And this has inspired your dismissive and sarcastic response. And we wonder why the our relationship with others in the AC is strained.

Tobias said...

I don't know, Joe. Seems to me that putting the Primates' request into plain English isn't dismissive. It may be a tad sarcastic, yes. But if you're going to be Joe the Bartender, perhaps you'll allow me to play Crazy Guggenheim from time to time. I wrote this before reading the Archbishop of Canterbury's off-the-cuff comments, and think there is much in common, especially the vagueness about what exactly might happen down the road.

Finally, I certainly don't think that my use of irony is having any affect whatever on the strained relationships in the AC. You give me far too much power. If anything, I hope a little humor can help lighten the situation from time to time.

But just so you know, if you are interested, I'll be posting some very serious reflections on where we stand in the next few days.

Dennis said...

You left out the part about, "And please keep paying the bills."

Brian said...

"...and, yes, we talked about the Millenium Goals, and hermeneutics, and theological education, and other things, but this is More Important And Urgent Than Anything Else, because we must make sure that people do the Right Things in bed (or wherever else it is that they do the things that they do that we can't actually mention)."